Jenn's LiveJournal

Hmm..

2008-03-01T00:24:31Z

Every once in a while I do log in to read everyone else's posts. However, since joining MySpace/Facebook, I really don't bother updating this thing. I got the urge to do so tonight, so enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm alive. In fact, I'm the happiest that I've been in about 3 years.

My professional life is going well. I am graduating (finally) in December. Currently, I am doing a bunch of freelance public relations work, as well as working for the school facilitating discussions with government people around the state. This is in addition to my fabulous internship with the local humane society planning some of their fundraising activities. So, I'm busy, but it's nice.

As for my personal life, I couldn't be more pleased :)

Weird Weather

2007-04-13T04:20:53Z

So, last night I was driving to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner, drinks, and trivia. It had been snowing off and on all day, but had been about 50 degrees and sunny. Not too bad. When I was driving, I noticed that there were two rainbows in the sky, and thought that was really unique and pretty.

About 30 minutes later, it started storming really bad. I was playing trivia, and they turned the weather channel on a few of the TVs. People started freaking out, so that's when I started paying attention. Turns out there were 4 tornadoes in north central Indiana, including one about 45 minutes southeast of me. Eww.

Anyway, I woke up this morning and looked outside. It looked wet, but seemed like it was probably going to be a nice day. I didn't look outside again until I left for work. So, when I did step outside of my apartment to head out to my car, I kind of stopped and blinked a couple of times. It was snowing. Snow... in April. Why!?!

It's supposed to be even colder tomorrow, and snowy. In fact, it looks like it's going to be cold all weekend. And Monday. Then back up to 65 on Tuesday. Hopefully it'll be warm when my mom comes to visit on Wednesday. It always seems to be cold when she comes here, which sucks for shopping.

Less than 2 weeks until my birthday! Yay!

What is love?

2007-02-17T23:25:04Z

Taken from Matthew Good's blog.
http://www.matthewgood.org/2007/02/i-fall-down-you-get-up-not-a-sound-between-us/

"Good love is a few months. Of bliss, of nothing wrongs, of sparkle, of tight gripping hands, of the inability to get close enough.

Bad love is a lifetime.

Bad love is the greatest test known to us. It is our most prized pain - so sought after, so hard to find. Bad love is work, giving-in, compromise, forgiveness, the unflinching support for another even at their most humiliated, their most vulnerable. Bad love is not on television, at the movies, on vacation, or at the bank. Bad love is not in the church, the temple, or under the dome. Bad love is not all around us.

Bad love is what we find when we let go enough to actually be found by someone else."

I'd really settle for either one of those at the moment... but I absolutley love that some people can phrase things so beautifully. If only I were 1/2 as talented with writing my thoughts. Meh. Anyway,

Written by mmaw:
"“Good” love is the lustful first stage that rarely progresses to the other.
These days, when you find bad/real love, there’s usually someone at the sidelines telling you that you should put yourself first and not compromise and why do you put up with his/her selfishness, etc. Then, if you do stay, you might feel like you are not standing up for your own desires. Or you leave, alone again, somewhat beaten down, and start looking the next “good” love.
I’ve seen so many splits where I believe there was real love, but there just needed to be some understanding and not so much pride and selfishness and bad advice from all sides. Compromise is not surrender. Loving someone despite their faults is not giving up yourself.
It is a cliche, but respect is needed on both sides. Not everyone naturally has other needed traits like empathy and compassion, but, as long as one of the pair has them, and real love is there, it is worth taking the lead and guiding the other one through.
I’m all for bad love. I think it is better than the Hollywood type. More like independent film love."

And one from Jeremy Crowle:
"...I dunno about you guys but i think love stretches far beyond a romantic context. My feeling is that a romantic context can be placed upon a multitude of things, good, bad, intense, horrible and (my personal favorite) insane. While we may all have our own ideas about what love is to us in our lives at this very moment, it remains the same thing universally, and will throughout the duration of this diminishing little rock we all spin around on.

Love does not mean romance. love does not mean happiness or regret, or sadness. love means love. it encompasses all things. we love the song, we love the friend, we love the dog, we love today. love is a mindset and a lifestyle. and like Matt said, it is a test. a big one. Letting go completely under minds human instinct, and it challenges our dreams along with what we thought would exist in the future. love forces us to change, because “it” never does."

Finally, one from cfile2:
"I have been in a relationship for quite a long time now. We have had our bumps along the way and during those times I have turned to people for advise and the most common piece of advice I get is “well if your not happy then you shouldn’t be in the relationship” and other things to that effect (another common one is “if you have any doubt it means she isn’t ‘the one’ for you”). The only thing I can say to that is “Are you #@%$ing kidding me?” Since when does love ever equal a joy ride that you can just let yourself off of at the first sign of trouble?

That’s not it. That is an after school special kind of love, not real-life. It’s a sad thing to see the concept of Love be treated like everything else in our society: once the fun stops you throw it out. Why bother seeing it through to the end if your not being immediately satisfied? That is stupidity and has all the rationality of a child throwing a tantrum because his mother won’t buy him a candy bar.

Bad love is exactly like you said Matt, it tries your patients right to the very end; it kicks your feet right out from under you and only strength of character allows one to stand up to take the hit again."

Pets

2007-02-17T22:36:14Z

Why am I so obsessed with pets? Two reasons. First, my parents never let me have anything more than fish when I was growing up, so I always wanted pets. Second, they love you unconditionally. They may do their own thing from time to time and not necessarily want to be smothered with affection, but at the end of the day, they still love being near you and appreciate everything you do for them. They could never replace actual human interaction/relationships/whatever, of course, and I'll never become a real "crazy cat lady," but they're certainly an important part of my life.

Maybe I'm nuts, I don't know. I'm quite glad I have them now though. They're (collectively) the one constant in my crazy, confusing life :)

Valentine's Day

2007-02-15T00:05:34Z

All in all, today wasn't horrible. The snow storm kind of ruined my plans, but I still enjoyed myself, and not having classes was a nice bonus. I had chinese buffet for supper, and they had chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert. Yum.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of the single people out there. We need to be wished a happy day more than the happy couples today anyway :)

Blizzard and Valentines

2007-02-14T04:12:37Z

What the heck happened to Global Warming? It's February, shouldn't we be wearing shorts and swimming in pools by now?

That'd be nice.

At least, it would be nicer than the 16" of snow we've received so far today. We're still under a "blizzard warning" for at least another hour. I can't say that I've ever actually seen a blizzard, but I'd certainly hope a real blizzard is much worse than this. I drove in this, multiple times. Yeah, it's snowy, windy, and visibility sucks... but without much traffic on the roads, it really wasn't that bad. I don't understand the people who rushed out to Walmart to stock up on bread and milk.

However, I'd much rather walk on a dry sidewalk anyday than trying to find my way through over a foot of snow. I don't have boots... I wore heels today. Needless to say, my feet were quite wet and cold when I got home. On the bright side, all of the schools in the area are closed tomorrow. Even the community college is closed. They haven't said anything about IU, but hopefully they'll follow the trend. If so, the plan is to spend Valentine's Day enjoying myself. I'll drive into Indianapolis, wander through the mall, maybe get some Ben and Jerry's (any flavor but Chubby Hubby), and of course stop off at BD's Mongolian BBQ for supper. Nothing beats throwing together stuff for a stir fry, and having someone else cook it for you :)

Life

2007-02-13T04:07:34Z

Life is far too short to settle for anything less than perfect. Perfect is open to interpretation, and one's idea of perfect can change. Something that is less than perfect can always become perfect, and something that is perfect can suddenly become imperfect. If something that was once regarded as perfect becomes imperfect, it's usually possible to fix that and have it become perfect once again. However, that requires effort. Without effort, it will remain less than perfect, and life is far too short to settle for that.

I think I've heard something similar before, but I don't know where or when. That all stemmed from thoughts I've had this evening. So, if I somehow accidently "borrowed" the above from someone, I apologize.

Anyway, I know what I think I want, but I suppose it's entirely possible that I'm just clinging to the past because it's familiar. Maybe it's not what I want at all. It's certainly not what I need, as it hasn't caused anything but emotional anxiety, confusion, and hurt, despite my best efforts to help make it better. Make it perfect, even. I didn't want to give up the past. Now I do. The past is dead, and the future can't be the same.

This might all sound depressing, but it's not. It's positive. I hope, anyway.

lucky_jenn05 @ 2007-02-10T21:32:00

2007-02-11T02:34:26Z

For someone who grew up thinking that the everyday was boring, and always wated to do new things, go new places, etc... it's funny how scared of change I am now.

Forever

2007-02-05T01:47:50Z

for·ev·er /fɔrˈɛvər, fər-/
–adverb
1. without ever ending; eternally: to last forever.
2. continually; incessantly; always: He's forever complaining.

How about "word used to describe the length of time a marriage is supposed to last, as the two individuals are supposed to love each other through all of their problems, but in most cases, is reduced to a few brief years because people are retarded."

Yeah, that sounds like a better, or at least more accurate description of "forever."

I'm really not as bitter as I sound. Everything happens for a reason, I guess, but I'm still angry at myself for not being able to MAKE it work. I know, it takes two, and without both of us trying our hardest, it wasn't going to happen. It still makes me feel quire useless, though.

In a way, this is positive. When I'm not depressed/angry, I've been taking better care of myself. I'm focused on my future (i.e. graduating ASAP so that I can get back to Canada), I'm trying to find an internship for the summer to get some actual experience in the PR industry, my apartment is awesome and I actually enjoy spending time here with the cats/ferret, and overall, I'm just trying to do everything I can to make my life what I want it to be.

Of course, I obviously miss the small things, like waking up next to someone every morning, looking into their eyes, and feeling loved. Or, having a crappy day at work or school, and knowing on that drive home that the evening will be better, because there is someone there waiting to make it better. Cooking meals together, arguing about petty details like seasoning, but in the end, making something great and spending time together. Meh. I'd take it all back, if there were a way to change all of the problems we had. As much as I like to think that's possible, it probably isn't, and if anything, we've grown apart far too much over the past couple of months to have anything worth salvaging. Even just as a friendship.

In other news, I'm watching the superbowl. Why? I don't know. It's on, I guess. The commercials have been slightly amusing so far. I'm hoping they show the Nationwide Insurance commercial, with K-Fed working fast food. I find that hilarious for some reason. I kind of want Chicago to win, just so I won't have to listen to everyone around here brag about the Colts winning all year. On the other hand, it would be kind of cool if they won. Who knows.

Winter is here...

2007-01-29T07:38:49Z

It snowed for the first time this winter about 3 weeks ago now. Then it got warm again. By warm, I mean about 40 degrees, but above freezing, and too warm to wear a winter jacket. For the past 3-4 days, it has been snowing a little bit each day, and SO COLD!!! It was a whole 8 degrees (yes, that's in fahrenheit) today.

My apartment is freezing. It might just be me, because I haven't turned the heat down at all and it has been a comfortable temperature up until today. It could also be that the apartment is big and lonely, and thusly feels cold, instead of warm and comfortable.

Anyway, it's 2:30am and I'm still awake. Why? Homework, of course. I procrastinated all weekend, even though I wasn't working on Saturday, and now have to stay up all night. I have 3 quizzes and a test tomorrow. I haven't opened a book all semester. Because of this, I don't really understand chemistry as well as I should, and don't understand geography at all. No, it's not maps and stuff. That would be easy geography. This is rocks, minerals, earthquakes, volcanoes, etc. Why did I sign up for it? My academic advisor told me it was known to be an easy A, for people who don't really like science but need another science course to graduate. I'm thinking the prof caught onto that rumor, because it's certainly not easy, and there's no way I'm pulling off an A. At this point, I don't necessarily care about grades, as long as I pass, get the credit, and can graduate ASAP.

Then maybe I can move somewhere warm. At least the cold is helping to keep me awake tonight :)

Dating Site Messages

2007-01-16T21:05:32Z

Okay, short back story here. After a couple weeks of moping around being bored (note: living alone sucks, no matter how cool your apartment is), I decided it was time to find some new friends. There's nothing to do here, it's damn near impossible to really get to know anyone unless you grew up here or have people with similar interests at work/school. So, a couple people suggested that I'd be able to meet people via online dating sites... and maybe even find a guy for a "rebound" thing. I was reluctant, but decided to give it a try. Although I haven't really had any in-depth conversations with anyone, there have been a few hilarious messages that I've received. I figured I'd share.

#1 - From a 37-year-old tree cutter, obviously dirty and gross in all of his photos, with the nickname of iwannameetu.
"wow hi"

(Seeing as I have on my profile that I'm looking for FRIENDS, perhaps something a little more profound would've been appreciated, or at the very least, a comma between 'wow' and 'hi')

#2 - From a 37-year-old scary looking biker guy with a long grey beard, nicknamed bgdg69, with the headline 'teddy bear looking.'
"I must say that you are quite beautiful."

(Okay, apparently I'm attractive to creepy older men. Wonderful. Also, he looks nothing like a teddy bear, and the nickname really doesn't go with any of it either.)

#3 - This one is rather long. It's from a 50-year-old guy.. and well, I guess the message says it all.
"Hi! I am looking for a beautiful woman like you, not only for a date, but for a romantic, passionate relationship.
I do enjoy life; I travel a bit for fun, and on business. I live in downtown [large city in Illinois], but will be moving soon. I am tired of the noise and chaos, although it has been an entertaining place to live. I go to [random county in Indiana], as a frequent getaway from the city. Also, I have a ranch in [southern state] where I spend some time in the winter. I am originally from [same southern state], and also lived in [a state with mountains] and [uhh.. state that starts with a W] for a long time. I lived in the wilderness in [W state again] for 2 years, and now, in downtown [large city in Illinois]...what different worlds.

I will probably move to a farm or other quiet place, probably in north central Indiana. I like to hang my clothes on a line, like I do at the ranch in [southern state]. I like to barbecue outside a lot. I used to be a fanatical veggie gardener, and I want to have my garden again this coming summer.

I have a good career, am college educated, have been divorced a long time. If I was lucky enough to meet you, I would treat you well, be a gentleman, whether it is for a short time or a long time. A good woman is all I need in my life, my life being a good life. I am a lucky man, and it would be nice to share this good life with a good woman. Maybe that woman is you?

You are very attractive. I hope to hear from you. I am happy to come to Kokomo any time. My name is [old man]."

(So many things to say, so little time... I really don't think comments are even necessary, it's hilarious)

#4 - This is the most recent message I've received. It's not an old man, which is great, but it's still scary. This guy didn't even have a photo.
"Whats up? I'm [name removed to protect the well-endowed DJ], a 25 yr old guy on Indy's southside. I'm 5'10 150lbs. I have short messy light brown hair, blue eyes, tan, athletic and well endowed. I work (I'm a DJ!!!), drive and own a home. I'm upon this cheap free site trying to see if I can get into any trouble. Can you help me? Check me out, and if you want to see some pics, hit me up. Peace"

(I'm really not sure what is worse... his claim that he's well endowed, or the offer to get into 'trouble.' Most people aren't that forward, and for that I'm thankful, but it at least gave me a good laugh.)

Anyway, they all haven't been that bad. I had been talking to a guy for a couple of days who seemed normal, then decided he was a little strange when I added him to my AIM list and he asked for naked pictures. Reason being, he's into "big girls." Greeeat. As much as I love that someone could be attracted to me, I'd rather it be slightly deeper than him wanting something to get off on. I dunno, maybe I'm being picky, and should give the 50 y/o sugar daddy a try, based purely on the fact that he's the only one who bothered to write something semi-informative. Haha.. eww.

I'm sure I'll post more later, hope you all enjoy.

One more reason why I hate living in "Random Small Hick Town, USA"

2007-01-07T01:23:26Z

I need to find some friends here so that I can get some more random photos of myself. I figure, I don't really want friends that I would meet at a bar. At least not here. All of the bars/clubs here are dirty, just like the people who hang out there on a regular basis. I might be able to meet a few people at school, but the vast majority there are kids who just decided to live with their parents throughout college and are still sticking to their high school cliques. Okay to talk to in class, but I'm sure their idea of a good time would be hanging out at the mall over the weekend. I can't think of anywhere else here to meet people. I should've tried to transfer to a school somewhere else in-state, if only to be at a larger campus with more social events. Hindsight is 20/20, or something. Back to the random photo idea... need photos to post on social networking sites. I haven't really found any specifically for this area yet, but I'm working on it, and when I do, I need photos to post.

Also, I will be joining a gym that is about 30 seconds from my apartment once I get my money situation figured out (how much all of my bills are going to be, when they're due, etc). Maybe I can meet up with some people there. That'd be nice, and motivation to go more often.

Classes start on Monday anyway. Two of them are around 80 people in a class, one has 8 people, and the other two are 15-20 people. It'll make for an interesting day, at least.

Going to shower, then off to the laundromat to finish laundry, then... who knows!

Haikus

2007-01-05T19:05:12Z

Got this from tuffie

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
people are welcome at all times the presence of a tank as it runs
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
the most important person in your life path by giving you some
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
not bringing the cat this would suck i have the phrase canadian tire
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
have to say my mood is probably about the same age so who knows
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
is a bit too left for most people on the right well most canadians
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
sleeping and doing housework oh and watching house and standoff did i
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
pig i hope you can change xxxooo wtf it starts off all nasty and then sad
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
brother and not get rear ended by people who are you walking with
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
begin a solo career careless whisper by wham spends the most time
@

Created by Grahame

Haiku² for lucky_jenn05
wanting to keep them because it'd be the year you were born more cool
@

Created by Grahame

Apartment Photos

2007-01-02T01:47:27Z

Jenn's Apartment

It's still a work in progress, of course, but not bad for just having started moving/buying things on Friday!

lucky_jenn05 @ 2007-01-01T19:02:00

2007-01-02T00:23:16Z

It's interesting how I spent years whining that I couldn't do the things I wanted to do, because I didn't have anyone who liked doing them with me. Now that I tried to fix that "problem," not only do I still not have anyone to do those things with, but I don't have anyone to do anything with. I even miss doing things I don't necessarily like doing. At least I had someone to spend time with.

That being said, I'm going to stop whining about it all. There's nothing to be gained from it. I can't change the past, blah blah blah, need to focus on the present and the future, etc. Yeah, we'll see how well that works. However, I've got a nice apartment, two cuddly cats and a ferret, a fun job, and school starting next Monday which will keep me occupied. It will also allow me to meet new people, hopefully. If not, I might just go crazy. I'm living in the middle of nowhere with everyone I care about 23983279872 miles away. At least the middle of nowhere has nice apartments. And, my car makes an excellent friend. Not only did we survive a car accident together a couple of months ago, but we spent Christmas Day together. Machines might not be the most reliable things in the world, but sometimes they do seem more reliable than people.

Anyway, I think it's time to straighten up the apartment again and go take those pictures. Then I guess I'll just cuddle up with a blanket on my couch and watch a movie or two until I fall asleep. I don't have to work until 3, so I can sleep as long as I want tomorrow. Yippee!

Emotions

2007-01-01T21:45:37Z

I seem to have lost the ability to control my emotions. Half of the time, I don't even know why I'm feeling the way I am.

I'll be fine one minute, and then sad, annoyed, mad, or whatever random emotion the next minute. I won't know why I feel that way. I can't just snap out of it. It's odd.

Oh, and I get jealous over the most ridiculous things. For example, Don talking to any of his female friends that I have never met. I don't know what they're talking about, and it's none of my damn business anyway, but yet I always feel a twinge of jealousy whenever I know he's on the phone with them. I'm also jealous that he has a large group of friends and family nearby to help him cope with everything. I don't. I've been doing it by myself, or turning to Don as a shoulder to cry on. Because of this, I feel like I'm being way too dependent on him. Yes, we decided to still be friends, but it's complicated. How friendly is too friendly? How open can I be about my feelings? Etc. I don't exactly have anyone else to turn to, and he's been quite willing to help me out thus far. Part of me wonders how long that's going to last. I'm trying to stay positive, but the negative side always comes out. Is it even possible to be positive all of the time? A lot of people seem like they are, but how can anyone be that optimistic about life when it's so unpredictable? Meh.

I went to Don's house last night for New Year's. He had a few of our mutual friends over. There was a bunch of alcohol, snacks, and the Wii. Oh, and Guitar Hero, of course. I didn't figure it would be that akward with everyone drinking. It started out okay, but then I started feeling weird again. I wondered why Don wouldn't sit near me. I felt uncomfortable talking to him in front of people anyway, incase anyone thought anything weird. He seemed to be uncomfortable too. On the bright side, except for the weirdness, we are getting along okay. See, that was positive. I'm trying :)

Happy New Year

2006-12-31T20:10:23Z

Long time, no updates. I know. Seeing as it's the last day of 2006, I figured this was probably an appropriate summary to the past year.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
Got a brand new car, got into my first car accident, bought a ferret, moved into my own apartment, decided I like Dr. Pepper a little bit, learned to like sausage (the crumbly stuff, not hot dog looking things), turned 21... that's probably it.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't know that I made any, but if I did, I'm sure I didn't keep them... because it'd be the typical "lose weight" "work out more" etc, and I've been lazy :( Not sure if I'll make more tonight.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My aunt, yes... I have a new little cousin, Renee.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, never have, hopefully never will (definitely not possible, but oh well, I can wish)

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada and the US, I'm really not sure which to call home at the moment

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
a life :)

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Christmas Day, spent it alone, in my car, until going over to Joyce and Chris' apartment that night.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting out of a crappy job that I dreaded going to everyday. Less money, but less stress, and more time to focus on school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My marriage, or at least the way it ended.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just a bad kidney infection.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My car.. love the Yaris!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Probably my little brother Jordan, for being much more mature and tolerable during my visit.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills... car... apartment... pets.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My new car.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder:
I don't know. This time last year, I was at work, drinking, because I got stuck working overnight. I wasn't happy, but I was having fun. I'm not really happy now, but I'm dealing with things better than I have been. I guess I'll have to say, my mood is probably about the same as last year.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spending time with friends

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting time doing nothing of any importance (sleep, TV, etc)

20. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Alone, probably sleeping, need to work at 7am.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
House, of course. Standoff and Justice were my two favorite new TV shows this year.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate, no... dislike, yes.

25. What was the best book you read?
Thank You for Smoking, because I don't think that I read anything else non-school-related this year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
30 Seconds to Mars. I usually hate actors-turned-musicians, but this group is great. <3

27. What did you want and get?
Car

28. What did you want and not get?
A social life

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
hmmm.. Little Miss Sunshine was good, as was other ones I can't think of at the moment.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
21st birthday, so went out drinking. It was mandatory, apparently. I ended up being bought drink after drink, so I actually drank so much that I threw up at the bar. Had never done that before :/

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Hmm.. perhaps a large dosage of Prozac?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Lots of brown, green, and grey. Neutral, earthy colors are my friend. Layers, too. Jackets are great.

33. What kept you sane?
The few friends I have and love, as well as my cats, and the ferret, and knowing that once I finish school, I can start over new, and do pretty much anything I want to do.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hugh Laurie. I bought the Blackadder full-series box set, too. Yum.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The usual bullshit from the right wing politicians and religious fanatics about abortion, same-sex marriage, and everything else being "bad" that doesn't fit into their little bubble.

36. Who did you miss?
friends and family in Canada

37. Who was the best new person you met?
ummm.. don't know.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Go with your first instinct. Thinking takes too much time and you'll generally end up reaching the same conclusion that you had in the first place anyway.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
"I know now, this is who I really am inside."

Also, pictures will be coming soon of my new apartment. It's big, and lonely, but I think I made it pretty sexy. Gotta find batteries for the camera, then I'll probably post them later tonight or tomorrow evening.

Happy New Year everyone! :)

Bored.

2006-10-17T20:41:44Z

I was looking for a job. We found out that the interview is set for November 22nd, though, so I don't see any point in trying to find a job for a month. I do need the money, but I doubt anywhere is looking for a month's worth of temporary employment out of me.

At any rate, I'm bored out of my mind and can't wait to go back. There isn't much to do in Kingston without money. There's shopping and food... both of which require money... and movies, which also requires money, but furthermore requires there to be any decent movies at the theater right now. Of course, there aren't. Luckily, I need to have a medical done for my greencard. This means going to Toronto. I made my mom agree to come with me, so hopefully there will be money to be spent. I'm thinking a side-trip on the subway to Yorkdale to do some shopping and eat at the Rainforest Cafe while we're waiting to pick up the results. Yep. Sounds perfect.

As for the interview, Don will arrive in Toronto on Nov 20th... conveniently, one month exactly after our 3 year anniversary.. and I'll pick him up at the airport. I figure I'd end up having to drive there and get him anyway if his flight out of Indianapolis was delayed at all. There was only 65 minutes in between flights if he were taking a connecting flight to Kingston. It was also the last flight to Kingston for the night. So, given that he'd have to get his luggage, change terminals by shuttle, go through customs, and re-check the luggage, I don't see that being a feasible option. I should know, I've done it. The only reason I even made my connecting flight that night was due to running through the airport, cutting in front of sympathetic people in line at customs, and (thank God) the YYZ-YGK flight being delayed by 15 minutes. Exciting, no?

On the 21st we're going to take the train to Montreal. I'm going to be doing sooooo much driving that week that I couldn't see driving to Toronto, and then driving to Montreal the next day, and then driving back from Montreal the day after, and then driving to Indiana the day after that. No. Trains are almost as fast as me driving, anyway :) So, yeah, train. We're staying overnight at the Hyatt Regency that night. It looks cool, and has a pool. Yay for swimming in late November! Interview is 9:30am on the 22nd. We'll take a train home that night. They overnight my passport back to me with the paperwork I need to get across the border. Don's flying out on the 23rd because he needs to be back at work for 3am on the 24th. Gotta love US day-after-Thanksgiving sales. It's worse than Boxing Day here. On the 24th, I'll leave for Indiana, and I'm bringing mom with me. We'll do the Christmas thing while she's there. She might bring Jordan, we're not sure yet. He hasn't been down there to visit me since I moved.

Aww, look at me, I just wrote a book. That's probably because I'm bored. I even went online looking for volunteer opportunities. Most of them want a 1 year committment. I'm sorry, but if you need "volunteers," you really shouldn't be picky about whether they're long-term or short-term. Now, I understand wanting to keep them as long as possible so they're not wasting time on training. However, 1 year is a bit excessive. People's lives change... employment, relocation, kids, etc. Geez.

Anyway, the father and the brother should be home soon. I should probably make some attempt at making it look like I did something today. Perhaps I'll put the clean dishes away and put the dirty ones in the dishwasher. Maybe.

Unemployed

2006-10-06T13:06:20Z

I need a job. Badly. I had $90 CDN -- my only Canadian money -- sitting by the computer last night. When I woke up it was gone. Normally, I could take money out of my bank account and use that until I found the theif. Unfortunately, that's not going to work this time because I don't have a job, and therefore have no money.

I was going to buy shoes today. I brought flip flops with me, expecting the weather to be somewhere between 70-90 F like it was in the US (aka, hot). I went to Jordan's football game against Regi last night, though, and froze my ass (toes?) off. I didn't bring a coat, either. I just brought a cordory jacket and an orange sweater. Nor did I bring socks, because without shoes, what's the point of socks?

Gah.

Need money. Need to go shopping. Need a job.

I could probably get hired at Walmart or something, but I'd feel bad about leaving them without any notice right before Christmas.... even though I hate Walmart. I hate having a conscience, too.

Buddha is adjusting well. He's roaming around on his own now instead of being a momma's boy. He still prefers to sleep in my bed, rather than his own, or anyone else's. It's probably a good thing so that he doesn't annoy anyone. He's such an apathetic creature. He'll let strangers pet and rub him without even sniffing them first. He doesn't mind moving. He doesn't mind being caged up for a 12 hour car ride. He's a really odd cat. I love it.

Visiting the high school on Tuesday probably. I figure Jason and I can annoy Jordan by stopping by Swain's class while him and his friends are in there. Mwahahaha. I missed being the evil older sister.

lucky_jenn05 @ 2006-09-22T19:34:00

2006-09-22T23:45:41Z

Yay!! Got my car back today!!

I also got my hair permed and my eyebrows waxed. Normally the eyebrow waxing wouldn't be a big deal, but I hadn't found anyone here that I particularly like doing it for me. I recently found out that my sister-in-law/hairdresser also does facial waxing, and she's perfect (not to mention will do it for free if I get my hair done at the same time). So, yay for me! She's also getting me a bunch of hair products at cost for me, so I don't have to pay the markup that I was paying just getting stuff at the salon. Mmmm.. cheap hair products.

Might be going to the irish pub down in Indianapolis tonight. Not entirely sure yet. If not, it'll be a night of drinking at the local bar, but alcohol and bread and butter pudding sounded good, so I'll be sad.

Of course, I have to work at 8am, but that's nothing that hasn't been done before after a few cups of coffee.

11 days until I start my trip. I haven't actually drove to Kingston in about 2 years. My mom has always just bought me plane tickets. I can't see being there for an extended period of time without my car, though, and I certainly wouldn't be taking Buddha on a plane either. I think if I stop part way and spend the night.. and somehow actually sleep.. it'll be just fine. One benefit of driving through the US instead of Ontario is that my cell phone won't charge me any extra for using it. So, if I start to fall asleep, I can call Don or anyone else who doesn't happen to be working, and talk for an hour or two :)

Although I'm going to miss Don like crazy, I'm kind of excited, especially since I haven't seen anyone (besides mom) in almost a year. Anyway, must get changed and figure out where the alcohol consumption is going to be taking place tonight.

must... buy... tickle me elmo extreme... before christmas... mmm... brainwashing tv commercials...

2006-09-20T03:51:16Z

Okay, so here's the plan so far:

October 1st, last day of work.
October 2nd, pack/say goodbye/etc.
October 3rd, drive for 8 hours to Erie, PA and spend the night at the Days Inn.
October 4th, leave Erie, drive for 6 more hours (plus border wait time) to Kingston.
October 6th, get mom to find me a job to pass the time in K-Town.
Someday between mid-October and early December, get greencard and move back to US.

I've still got to find a reasonable sized cage or something for Buddha to travel in. I want him to be able to see me and everything else, because he's curious and hyper, but I don't want him to be able to run around and potentially cause an accident. My car has been through enough in the less than 2 months that I've had it... not to mention something might happen to me or Buddha. I'd really prefer for him to be able to roam around, but it's not going to be feasible. Maybe if I get him trained well enough he can try it on the drive back.

I suppose this is all dependant on me actually having my car back at some point in the near future. They have all of the parts in from Japan now at least. Chances are I'll have it on Friday, but nothing has been guaranteed yet. At least I know the other guy's insurance is going to cover everything, and it has to look brand new, just like it did before he hit me. I wanted the Yaris because it was adorable. So, as long as it's still adorable and drives well, I'm fine. I just need it back within the next week or so, or else I'm not going to be able to drive back to Kingston, and that would suck.

I have tomorrow off from work. I'm thinking I'm going to get a perm. Not a tight, really curly one or anything, but just some waves. I had today off from work too, but most of that was spent sleeping and doing housework. Oh, and watching House and Standoff. Did I mention I'm becoming a TV junkie? Yeah, wonderful. I never really used to watch TV before I moved down here, and even then I was really only "addicted" to a few shows. This season is bad. Here's a list of my "need to watch" TV shows:

Young and the Restless
House
Gilmore Girls
Justice
Standoff
Weeds
L Word
What Not to Wear
Good Eats
Iron Chef America
Degrassi (this one might change once I get back to Canada, as I've only been watching it here because it's Canadian TV)

***EDITED 09-21 to add Vanished to the list. I can't believe I forgot it! Gale Harold (QAF) playing a straight guy, with a kid, doing FBI stuff. Yummy.

That's 13 hours per week of my life. Granted, I'm only watching 8.5 hours of that on a regular basis right now, but that's because next week will be when everything else premieres. It's disgusting, yet I find myself becoming so involved with the storylines that I have to watch it. As for What Not to Wear, Good Eats, and Iron Chef... they're just mindless entertainment. What Not to Wear is funny. The other two feed my hobby of cooking in my spare time. It's a form of stress relief. I love taking a normal recipe or method of cooking and playing with it.

That brings me to my next plan for my trip. If I do manage to find a job, it's going to be a normal 9-5 job with weekends off. This means free time... for cooking. Like, real fruits, herbs and veggies, fresh meat, bakery bread. Mmmm. All of the stuff that I really can't buy here because of how infrequently Don and I are home together, so all of that would normally go bad before I get a chance to cook with it. I did make chicken parmasan from scratch tonight though. Sliced up the chicken breasts myself, breaded them, baked them... yummyness. We had leftover DQ cake for dessert though. It was Don's birthday yesterday.

I suppose that's all for today. Need to get some sleep for my long day off tomorrow :)

Everybody else is updating, so I suppose I can too....

2006-09-15T05:52:54Z

Okay, somewhat point form entry of the past few months:

-In May, we bought a house. No more cramped apartments with the kittens and 4 computers, yay!!

-At some point before that, I switched majors to Professional Communication. I'm thinking advertising or public relations as a career, but really, I can swing that degree to get me into any field I want, so it's great for indecisive people like me.

-I should be graduating this spring, but of course I'm not, because I'm a slacker and keep changing my major and taking time off.

-Buddha went from cute little one-pound ball of fur to a 13lb monster cat in 6 months. He's still cute and cuddly. Zen stayed 5lbs and is tiny and skitterish and evil. She's also possibly retarded.

-Bought a silver 2007 Toyota Yaris in mid-August. Waited almost 2 months for them to find me one, since it's their first year of production in the US.

-3 weeks after obtaining said car, got rear-ended while stopped by someone going 50mph (80ish km/h). Fantastic. Car is still in body shop waiting for backordered parts from Japan, but I'm being compensated nicely from the guy's insurance company. I also get to drive a purple PT Cruiser in the meantime. Yes, I do feel like I'm driving a purple hearse. Thanks for asking.

-Found out that paperwork for US greencard won't be finished by the time my temporary visa expires on October 4th. So, back to Canada for a month or two. I'm bringing Buddha. Zen would just freak out and probably kill my family. She can stay here with Don. May or may not have a vehicle, so I may end up flying, and subsequently not bringing the cat. This would suck, as I would have to rely on Kingston's public transit system to travel around, and have been used to having my own car for 5 years now.

-Jordan's turning 16 on October 1st. I think I'll teach him how to drive while I'm visiting. Defensive driving, of course, like how to not get rear-ended by people who are too busy looking at cars for sale on the side of a highway to notice everyone else nicely stopped in front of them. Did I mention it was some ugly green Mustang, and it's still there, so obviously he wasn't too interested in it... despite his car getting completely destroyed in the accident.

-Don and I will have been married for 3 years as of October 20th. Chances are, we won't spend the anniversary together, due to the bullshit of US immigration. 3 years is also the year when most couples get divorced. Lovely thoughts.

-Currently, I'm tired after working until 1am and my foot is itchy.

Yep, that's about it. Time to go into hermit mode for another month or two (or five).

Haven't posted in a while... soooo...

2006-06-10T04:25:30Z

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
Don.

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
Rabbit.

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
I look at it as it runs away and mention to Don that rabbits are cute.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe its size?
One story ranch-style, but fairly large. Not huge, though. Big enough for 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, kitchen, dining room, and a huge rec room type area for the computers/video games/televisions. Oh, and a hot tub in the back yard.

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
Just the hot-tub area.

6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining room table. Describe what you see on AND around the table.
On the table is a basket of muffins. I've always wanted a basket of muffins, like you see in movies. I can't see anyone ever eating more than one (maybe two) muffins, so there's really no point for a basket of muffins, but I like muffins and this seems like a cool idea. Anyway, there are also candles and some placemats. There are obviously chairs around the table, nobody sitting in any of them.

7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?
Plastic. Leftover from a party, probably.

8. What do you do with the cup?
Pick it up and carry it to a garbage can.

9. You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is it?
Creek-type thing with frogs and bugs, and cute water plants.

10. How will you cross the water?
Walk around it.

What it means:

1. The person who you are walking with is the most important person in your life. (probably true.. since I married him..)

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems. (hmm, must've been a large rabbit)

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (look at it, don't say anything to it's face, then talk about it behind its back.. sounds about right to me)

4. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems. (I'd call it a "medium" size house, I guess...)

5. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not to drop by unannounced. (Semi-open personality, then?)

6. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy. (Muffins are food!!)

7. The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person named in number 1. For example, Styrofoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, Styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable. (Durable, then, but easy to dispose of.. hmmm.. interesting...)

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards the person in number 1. (hehe.. Donnie is going in the garbage can.)

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire. (Perhaps it was a long creek?)

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life. (Yeah, sometimes true, but usually not.. it was fairly accurate up until this one!)

That was stolen from fixedzero.
Yeah, taking 2 summer classes. They start in a couple of weeks. On the bright side, I'm only going to be working 35ish hours per week when my classes start and not closing every freaking night. This makes me happy because I'll actually be able to sleep once in a while. Life is good :)

21.

2006-04-25T15:02:14Z

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

Well, yeah. That'd probably make sense, since I was only around for the last 5 years of the 80s. Speaking of which, it's my 21st birthday, which I spent playing NTN trivia and drinking at midnight... and the plan is pretty much the same for tonight, with more people. There's only one place open here on weekdays past midnight. The bars aren't even open. Silly little hick town. Anyway, yay me.

lucky_jenn05 @ 2006-04-07T01:54:00

2006-04-07T06:03:58Z

Stolen from tuffie, who stole it from someone else, who probably stole it from someone else... etc.

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birthday (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year.

Facts:

1. 1849 - The Governor General of Canada, Lord Elgin, signs the Rebellion Losses Bill, outraging Montreal's English population and triggering the Montreal Riots.

2. 1901 - New York becomes the first U.S. state to require automobile license plates.

3. 2005 - 107 die in Amagasaki rail crash in Japan.

Births:

1. 1940 - Al Pacino, American actor

2. 1970 - Jason Lee, American actor <3

Deaths:

1. 2002 - Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, rapper (b. 1971)

Fascinating. My birthday this year is also some random holiday in Australia/NZ too. It was on the calendar at work when I looked today. April 25 is a special day I guess :P